Remember ME - You Me and Dementia

Saturday, October 27, 2007

A Day At Old Age Home-True Story

There are lots of experiences and special days in one's life. What I want to share today is a one such day that is never going to be forgotten by me. A day that brought such a lot of happiness and satisfaction to me. One of the most memorable days of the week.

Like most Christian kids who could manage to sing, I too was send from home to join the church choir. It was my third year in the choir , when we had a new parish priest who joined our church. He was a person who very particular on the choir singing well and so made choir practice twice a week. We all enjoyed meeting up twice a week and even to hear the priest sing. (He was an amazing singer) At the end of one such practice session, the pastor told us that after that day's practice session would be a special practice.

He just told us that it would be something like a surprise and we were asked to get whatever little pocket money we could. I kept thinking the whole two days of what could this surprise be. On the awaited day, all of us turned up right on time, with whatever money we had gathered. Then the pastor came ready to break the surprise. He greeted all of us and asked us if we knew the specialty of the day. We all exchanged looks, all equally blank. Then the pastor gave a wide smile and said, "Today is Grand Parent's Day". And our pastor went on explaining what he had in mind for our day.

But, there were few, who sat without expressions from the time they had entered. More than the happy, smiling ones, they came to my notice.

We were going to visit not one or two, but many many grandparents who have no family with them. Yes, we were going to go to an Old Age home with small gifts for all of them. All of us were very excited and did'nt know what to get them and how to entertain them. We walked our way to the Old Age Home and on the way bought a nice big cake. We had carried a guitar and a tambourine too. That's all these little amateur musicians had. We all entered this old but big building, it was run by some sisters of a particular congregation. The compound of this Home was built and maintained beautifully. There was plants and flowers blooming everywhere. We followed our pastor into the building, with mixed feelings and emotions. We were soon greeted by a very warm looking nun, who guided us to a hall.

We were supposed to conduct whatever we wanted in the hall. We all looked around the hall to see what we could do. We blew balloons and hung them all around the hall. We then cut out chart papers, wrote quotes, stuck pictures and stuck it on the wall. We made the hall as colourful as possible. Then we placed our cake on a table and told the Sister that we were ready. Then came in all the grey haired sweethearts, some alone, some couples, some groups. Then they all got themselves seated on the chairs we had arranged in the hall. Then our pastor greeted them all and wished them first.

Then it was our turn. Robert, the famous one with talking, greeted all of them and told them that we had come along to make their day a little special. Then we all gathered in front and started singing songs for them. Though we had started with some Gospel songs, we did sing some melodious Love songs too!! I just noticed all of them. Most of them were single grandparents whose spouses had expired. The other few were couples. Most of them were smiling and singing along too when we had started singing. But, there were few, who sat without expressions from the time they had entered. More than the happy, smiling ones, they came to my notice.

Slowly, the scene out there started changing. There were many many smiling faces. While some of us sang, the others sat beside them and spoke to them. Most of them could converse in English. I still remember one Anglo-Indian couple, they were so adorable!! The husband walks up to Robert and asks him for the mike, Robert though surprised, happily gives it to him. Then, he sang a beautiful number and said he dedicated it to his the 'love of his life', his wife. Though spending her whole lifetime with her husband, she went pink at this cute dedication.

At the same time, there was another couple that caught my eyes, they were in each others arms dancing!!! And oh my, they were amazing, I bet I couldn't dance like that! Then we kept singing songs till we felt we were out of songs!! At the same time,two of us, cut the cake into several pieces to be distributed. At that moment, the Sister in charge of the Home told us that there were diabetic people amongst them and they couldn't have sweet. Our faces dropped, but we never gave up, we coaxed her so much that she eventually agreed.

Then, we went to each one them and gave them their share of the cake. Most of them had sparkling eyes and were so excited on seeing the forbidden delicacy!! When we went distributing the cake, there were so many grand fathers and grand mothers who were almost in tears, either telling that they miss their grandchildren or we resembled one of theirs. One of the grandmothers just pulled me by my hand and made me sit beside her. She told me about her son who is working in the US, and found it difficult for him to look after her so left her at this Home. She told me that her son's daughter (that's her grand daughter) looked just like me and had the same smile. I just hugged her and kissed her. Both our eyes were full, I had no words to say.

Most of our dear grandparents spend an old age of loneliness and insecurity. They spend their second childhood in their old age. They too want to be loved and looked after in their old age, they become like attention seeking children. Most of the ones in Old Age Homes don't complain, they just say that, my son or daughter has to go on and I cant be a burden for them! It is left to us to decide how happy their old age can be. You don't need any special day to make them feel their worth. If you have never told them how much you love them, say it before its too late.


By: Anitha Theresa Abraham

Source: http://living.oneindia.in/


Forget yourself for others, and others will never forget you.

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